Something I've learned about being an American working with a multi cultural work place is that I'm dumb as a box of rocks, as my mom would say. Insensitive is just in our cultural blood and trying to be more open is a delicate process that has taken me a little while to learn. Because I'm sure other Americans are reading this who want to be able to appreciate other cultures, I'll give you some tips on what I've learned.
1) AMERICA IS NOT A MELTING POT
I know, we all watched The Great American Melting Pot in school when we were younger, but this idea of a melting pot is very outdated. As my German professor described it, we are now a chopped salad. We no longer try to conform to "the american" and now bring out cultures and keep a hold of them instead of trying to fit in. I don't know about you, but I think bring a much richer cultural diversity to doorstep.
What this means for conversations is, don't be surprised if you ask someone where they are from and they say America. Don't be shocked when your friend's husband doesn't speak English but grew up in California. Just know that even if you grew up in white middle class suburbia, there is much more down the street than Mr. Robinson who waves to you on the way to school every morning. Don't be surprised. Don't be offended.
2) JUST ASK
I have asked so many of my coworkers where they are from and they look at me confused and say, "Uh, Colorado?" like I was asking a stupid question. So if you wonder about someone's culture, ask about their background or their ethnicity. Don't assume someone isn't from America just because they speak a different language, but go ahead and ask. Most people love being American, but they also love telling you about where their family came from. So stick with things like "What's in your background?" or "Where is your family from?"
A coworker just gave me a good tip, don't ask someone if they are illegal. Seriously. Stay classy.
3) APPRECIATE THEIR PICTURES
Once you open this door, you won't be able to really slam it shut once you get your simple answer. If you are going to bring up this conversation, be prepared for explanations and pictures and them talking about the silly things their family do. They will pull out their phones and show you pictures of back home, or of their kids, or even of a special event. You will hear stories about weddings gone wrong from culture clash and how they would never in a million years swear in their native language because it carries so much more weight. If you're not willing to have these conversations, just don't ask.
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| #TokenWhiteGirl |
As with any conversation between people, it depends on the one in it. If someone just doesn't want to talk to you or about where they come from, then they won't want to. Some people are more willing to make jumping the fence jokes and other are very sensitive. Just be aware of the other person and maybe stay away from super personal questions. Asking a woman with a head covering just "how Muslim" she is may not be the way to go. Be nice. Read the other person. Have fun.
